How do I know I can trust you?
by TheWritingFairy
Summary: "How do I know I can trust you?" "You don't really have a choice." Merlin knows about Morgana's magic and things are going just swimmingly until she discovers that he's been hiding his own... So I suck at summaries and that one was spectacularly awful, even for me, but please give it a go? Hopefully it's better than I just made it out to be!
1. Chapter 1

"Morgana, please, tell me what's wrong," Merlin begged. Morgana clenched her teeth, hoping the action would be enough to stop her screaming at Arthur's manservant. She stopped and listened as he caught up with her in the darkened corridor, flinching as he took her elbow and turned her to face him. "You've been avoiding me for a week," Merlin stated, releasing his grip on her thin arm. "If I've done something to upset you, I promise I never meant -"

"- You lied to me," she whispered, unable to hold back the single tear that escaped from her right eye. She watched Merlin's face cloud over with confusion, refusing to elaborate any further on her interruption. His eyebrows knitted together as he tried to make some sense of what she was telling him and she could see in his large, blue eyes that he had no idea what she was talking about. That only made it worse.

"Morgana, I -" he began, shaking his head, obviously about to deny what she accused him of. Not that she blamed him; as far as he knew he'd done nothing wrong. But again, that only made it worse.

Morgana had known from the beginning that any sort of relationship with Merlin was dangerous, not just for him but for her as well. But she'd never expected this…

"I trusted you and you lied to me," she explained a little louder, her voice shaking as her body began to tremble. She had to get away from him before she lost control – his innocent face only served to increase her anger; allowing her torrent of built up emotions to escape her would not be wise in the middle of the corridor where anyone could walk past.

She blinked, letting more tears fall down her cheeks, before whirling around and hurrying down the rest of the corridor. Hopefully he at least knew her well enough not to follow, not yet…

_Six months earlier… _

Gaius couldn't deny it, not this time. It was too much to be a coincidence. Morgana marched through the castle, fully intent on finding Gaius and demanding that he believe her – she had magic, she just knew it. Gaius may not have counted what she'd already told him as evidence but she didn't need any, she could feel it inside her and it made her feel sick to her stomach with fright.

Scurrying through the large, mainly vacant halls, Morgana swallowed down her tears. While her face may have displayed a confident, determined young woman, deep down she was terrified. Having magic was certainly going to be no picnic, she knew that. Magic was banned in Camelot, punishable only by death, and she wasn't sure that being the King's ward would save her head from the chopping block, or her body from the flames. The normally confident, carefree woman shuddered, trying her hardest to push those sickening thoughts from her mind.

On reaching the court physician's chambers, Morgana barged through the door in a most unladylike manner, all thoughts of knocking politely vanishing in her haste for answers. She stopped, not able to see anyone immediately.

"Gaius?" she called out. The raven-haired boy who poked his head out from behind a shelf was not Gaius but Merlin. "Oh, Merlin," she stuttered, a little flustered. When marching all the way over to the physician's chambers with her mind set so firmly, she hadn't thought of an excuse in the possible – and now very real – event that Merlin would be there instead of Gaius. "I was looking for Gaius," she pointed out, feeling a bit stupid seeing as she had just called his name.

"I figured," he grinned, his mouth forming a lopsided smile that Morgana had never noticed before.

"Where is he?" she asked; she couldn't let herself get distracted.

"He's tending the King," Arthur's manservant replied. "What's wrong, Morgana? If it's a sleeping potion you need, I'm sure I can make one for you," he offered, retreating back behind the shelf holding bottles containing different potions. _A potion! Why didn't you think of that excuse before?_ she asked herself silently. However, she didn't need to listen to the little voice in her head to know the answer. She'd been too tied up in her thoughts of magic and the terror associated with them to think straight. Terror which crept up on her so suddenly and so violently that she couldn't control the sobs that suddenly escaped from her mouth.

"I don't need a sleeping draught!" she cried, flouncing down dramatically on the wooden bench beside her. "I don't understand anything. I'm so confused, Merlin," she admitted, not entirely sure why she was telling him this. Really, he was the last person she should be talking to about her problem, yet she felt comfortable with him somehow; she guessed she could even, maybe, call him a friend.

"You can trust me, Morgana, you know that," he told her softly, appearing once again from behind the shelf. His lopsided grin had disappeared and been replaced by a genuine look of concern.

"What's happening to me… Merlin, I think it's magic," she whispered. She should have regretted her sudden bout of truthfulness instantly but she couldn't. How could she when Merlin's immediate reaction was to walk over to her and place a comforting, if hesitant hand on her shoulder. "Tell me you believe me," she beseeched him. When he didn't answer, she looked up at him only to see what she believed to be doubt in his eyes. "Merlin, please!" she all but shrieked. She needed someone to believe her, even if it was only a servant. _Servant._ _What are you doing?_ she reproached herself, the possible consequences of her latest actions suddenly hitting home.

"I'm sorry, Merlin. I'm talking nonsense, don't listen to me. I'm just tired because I haven't been sleeping." Morgana's words tumbled out in her hurry to rectify her mistake. In an attempt to make her exit more dignified than her entrance, she muttered "excuse me" and walked as fast as she possibly could without actually running to the big wooden door.

"Morgana?" Merlin's voice made her pause just long enough to hear him say three words. "I believe you." She sighed; whether it was with relief or more fear than before, Morgana did not know.

"Thank you," she murmured just as the heavy door closed behind her. Her weary body wanted nothing more at that point than to slump against the wood blocking the pair from each other's view, but her mind knew better than to linger where she was. The last thing she wanted was for Merlin to follow her out and find her still there.

She spent the journey back to her own, more luxurious quarters mentally chastising herself for what she'd just done. Never mind the fact that she secretly had magic – which was bad enough on its own – she'd gone and told a servant of all people! No matter how much of a 'friend' she considered Arthur's manservant, Merlin was still just that, a servant. _But Arthur tells Gwen things,_ the little voice inside her head reminded her. It was true, Arthur was extremely close to her maidservant, Guinevere, too close she sometimes thought. _And that is exactly what makes their predicament different_, the other, more sensible voice argued back. Arthur and Guinevere clearly loved each other – the rights and wrongs of it were not important at this point – whereas Morgana and Merlin had no such relationship, nor did either of them intend to start one. Then why didn't Morgana feel nearly as bad as she should have for confiding in him her biggest, most precious and dangerous secret?

Upon finally reaching the privacy of her room, Morgana slammed the door behind her, probably with slightly more force than necessary. On any other day she might have been impressed with herself – her door was very heavy and slamming it the way she just had required quite a bit of strength for someone of her small build – yet she barely noticed. Turning the key, she locked it, hoping to lock out her secret, Merlin and the rest of the world at least for a little while. She needed time to think and, for that, Morgana needed to be alone.

The young woman crossed her room and threw herself most unceremoniously down on her bed, burying her head in her arms, hoping it would be a comfortable enough position to think out her situation properly. However, it seemed her brain had other ideas. No sooner than she closed her eyes to shut out the light – it was beginning to irritating her aching head – Morgana fell asleep and whether it was the relief of finally having someone believe her or purely because she was very worn out, the troubled woman slept soundly throughout the night, not even stirring when Guinevere knocked to see why she hadn't attended supper. Her problems would have to wait until the morning before she could even think about how to sort them.

**A/N: Hello everyone! I'm back with what I hope is going to be a full-length Merlin/Morgana story. I say 'hope' because I know exactly where I want this story to go but I don't know how to get it there. I'm asking, no, begging, for some feedback on this. Feedback will fuel more chapters…**

**If you have already read my previous Merlin/Morgana story (Coming To terms With Magic), I am well aware that this one starts at roughly the same time but I do plan on going somewhere different with this, I promise. If you haven't read that yet and you get some spare time, please do read it – I'm rather proud of it.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think. If I could send you all cakes in exchange for reviewing, I would, but I can't so please settle for my gratitude? **

**P.S. I do not own any of the characters, etc, blah blah blah, and any mistakes are completely my own, for which I can only apologise and hope they're not too major!**


	2. Chapter 2

Morgana woke the next morning, her mind made up that she would have to talk to Merlin again and put things right; not blurt anything else out. Not that she really had anything else as incriminating to blurt out, no, she'd already told him the one thing she shouldn't have. Seriously, she'd have been in less trouble if she'd told Merlin she loved him – not that that was ever likely to happen, of course. Her only problem was how to get him alone without looking suspicious.

X

"Arthur, may I come in?" Morgana asked, standing outside the Prince's chambers and knocking the door for good measure.

"Of course," he replied, but it was evidently beyond the Prince to open the door himself for, when it opened, the Lady of Camelot found herself face to face with Arthur's manservant. _Perfect,_ she thought, unable to hold back a quick smile. This made her plan easier.

"What may I do for you?" Arthur asked through a mouthful of bread, giving his all-but-sister a smile. He clearly took longer to break his fast than she did; either that or he ate a lot more.

"Nothing for me, thank you," she replied politely. "Uther wishes to see you; something about guard duty." She wasn't entirely lying; Uther took any opportunity to talk about things such as guard duty with Arthur – she figured it was a male thing, for she simply had no interest in the matter – but he hadn't actually requested this particular meeting.

"What, now?" Arthur questioned, looking at the rest of his food longingly. Morgana nodded her head, letting out a small laugh.

"Honestly Arthur, you eat more than a horse! I'm sure you've had a sufficient amount of food to last you the morning," she said, eyeing the numerous empty plates in front of him. A snigger behind him from Merlin made it evident the serving boy agreed with her, but he quickly turned it into a cough as Arthur turned around to shoot him a stern glare. "Go on!" she encouraged as he stood, even making a shooing motion towards the door with her hands.

"Merlin!" Arthur called from the doorway, indicating that he wanted the servant to follow him. _No!_

"Um… Uther said he wanted to speak with you alone," Morgana lied hurriedly, trying to keep the slight panic rising inside her out of her voice. Arthur turned back around to face her and frowned a little, forming a crease between his blonde eyebrows. The young woman forced her breathing to remain neutral as she met his eyes, her face a picture of innocence.

"Oh alright," Arthur conceded with an exasperated sigh. "Don't touch my food Merlin, I will finish it when I return!" the Prince shouted from the corridor, leaving Morgana and Merlin alone. Now that she was here, she didn't really know what to say and the atmosphere was somewhat awkward. Normally, the pair got on very well and were never short of things to talk about, but Morgana's revelation from the day before hung silently and heavily in the air.

She watched Merlin as he moved across the room, over to Arthur's bed and began to strip the sheets.

"Uther didn't really want to speak to Arthur alone, did he?" Merlin asked. Considering he was accusing her of lying, he managed extremely well to keep his tone very un-accusatory, for which she was grateful – it made her sound and feel less guilty.

"He didn't want to speak with him at all," she admitted, looking at her feet. "I just wanted to -"

"-get me alone?" Merlin finished for her, visibly smirking.

"Don't make it sound so inappropriate!" she chided, but a smile and a small giggle betrayed her indignant tone of voice. Merlin laughed properly, his goofy smile widening, and she couldn't stop herself laughing with him. "Seriously though," she began, her smile fading, "I had to talk to you." Merlin only nodded so she carried on. "What I said yesterday, I… I didn't… you can't…" she stuttered, unable to get her words out properly, which may have had something to do with the fact that she didn't quite know what she was trying to say. Did she want to say that she didn't mean it and she didn't have magic, or that she did have it and he couldn't tell anyone?

Whatever the case, Merlin made the choice for her. "I won't tell anyone, Morgana," he assured her, in what was probably the most serious voice she'd ever known him to use. She looked up to see he'd put the sheet down and was staring very intently at her, the smirk no longer present on his face. "I promise I won't," he added. "I understand how…" he started, but it was the servant's turn to stumble over his words. He clenched his jaw and swallowed before continuing. "What I mean to say is, I can only _imagine_ how difficult this is for you and how scared you must be feeling. And I know I'm only Arthur's manservant but if you ever want someone to talk to I'd be more than happy to listen."

Morgana let out a deep, shaky breath that she didn't realise she'd been holding. She couldn't explain why but she was overcome with the sudden urge to cry. Nobody had ever really been as nice to her as Merlin was being at that moment.

"Or not," she heard him mumble when she didn't reply. "I mean I'm a servant and you're… I shouldn't have said anything." Morgana focused her gaze once again on his face to see that Merlin looked upset. His eyes were cast downward and there was a faint blush tinging his cheeks. With a start, Morgana realised he was embarrassed and, when she still didn't say anything, he proceeded to cover Arthur's bed with a fresh sheet.

"Merlin?" she called softly to try and regain his attention. Either he didn't hear her or he was intent on ignoring her because he turned his back on her as he tucked the sheet in at the foot of the bed. "Merlin?" she tried again, moving forward to place a gentle hand on his left shoulder. Morgana felt slightly hurt when he flinched at her touch but, remembering that it had been she who upset him in the first place, acted would like it hadn't happened. "Merlin," she said for a third time, more forcefully, causing him to stop and look at her. "Thank you," she smiled, her voice as sweet and her smile as warm as she could possibly make them, to show him that she truly was grateful. "It's good to know I have someone to talk to about… this. And we're friends, right?" She gave his arm a little squeeze and smiled again.

This seemed to perk him up as he nodded and returned her smile. "Good," she chirped, feeling genuinely more at ease with the situation. Well, for a minute or so, at least.

"Ahem." The pair were caught off guard by a loud cough signalling Arthur's return. "What's going on?" he queried, striding purposefully into the room, eyeing them both suspiciously as they unconsciously jumped away from each other.

"Nothing," Merlin replied hurriedly, returning to tucking the fresh sheet into place. Morgana caught only a quick glimpse of his face as he turned around but she could have sworn that the boy was blushing again.

"I was just helping Merlin with the sheet," she explained quite calmly, if dishonestly, gesturing a hand towards said sheet as if it would back up her statement.

"You were helping Merlin with the sheet," Arthur repeated slowly, folding his arms across his broad chest and raising an eyebrow, clearly in disbelief. Morgana nodded her head eagerly and flashed him her best innocent smile. "Right. Of course."

"Well, now you're back you can help him yourself, can't you?" It wasn't really a question – Morgana knew full well Arthur had never made his own bed in his life and had no intention to start now. Without giving Arthur a chance to respond, she shuffled quickly towards the door. But not quickly enough.

"Morgana?" The raven-haired woman came to a halt and sighed, cursing herself inwardly. "My father didn't need to speak to me," the Prince declared. She turned around to find his arms still folded across his chest and his eyebrow still raised, only this time his suspicion was aimed solely at her.

"Did he not? Oh, my mistake," she responded, aiming a second innocent smile at him before whirling around and exiting the room, her long skirts billowing behind her. This time, she managed to leave without any more questions from the bewildered Prince of Camelot.

**A/N: I didn't have many reviews for the previous chapter but the significant amount of favourites and follows suggests I'm doing something right, so thank you. I'm not sure how frequent the updates are going to be after next week because I'll be starting uni so apologies in advance if the story gets put on hold for a while during my 'settling in period'. Now, before you leave the page, please leave a cheeky review down below? I'd be extremely grateful! **


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